How to heal after heartbreak

We have all experienced heartbreak at some point in our lives, some more than once. What I have come to learn is it can be one of the post painful experiences someone can go through, its a form of grief and grieving for someone who is still alive is extremely painful.

I have had my fair share of heartbreak, the pain has been so intense I could actually feel my hurt physically hurting, the sleepless nights, the losing your appetite and not being able to think straight, it is one of the worst experiences we can go through.

But what I have come to realise through every heartbreak is that we do heal and we do come out stronger with a lot of lessons learnt. We don’t see it at the time and in the moment we think and feel we will never recover from it, even if we have been through it before we still think the same thing with each one. For me its the thoughts of them with someone else, its the good memories you made with them, its the good gestures, however often that they did for us. We seem to forget the bad times the ways in which they didn’t treat us how we deserved, the disrespect, the lack of love.

What we need to try to remember is we deserve love, we deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and love, we deserve to be made to feel we are a priority.

Over the years, although its still hard going through the process, I have learnt what has helped me heal and grow, what has helped me become kinder to myself because we seem to neglect ourselves and not look after ourselves in the times we are hurting. I will share with you some of the things I found helped me through it.

TIME

Please believe me when I say time is the biggest healer, give yourself time to heal, time to grieve, time to recover. In a matter of weeks and months you will start to feel different, it wont hurt as much as it first did. You will have a different outlook on things even on the relationship. Sometimes we put our partner on a pedal stool and we become blind to the red flags, blind to the way they treat us, we forget about our own happiness, but as the time passes we start to see the things we put up with, the things we turned a blind eye to. Just because we loved them and didn’t want to lose them. Sometimes we hurt ourselves more by staying somewhere we are not truly happy than it does to leave. Time heals it really does, it gives us time to reflect on the relationship and ourselves.

SELF CARE

This one can be a hard one to do, but if you can you will really feel the benefits from it. Self care is the highest form of love we can give ourselves. I used to neglect myself so much, not showering everyday, laying on the sofa all day feeling sorry for myself while scrolling through messages and pictures, I would barely eat I would live on cereal and toast, I would live in my pyjama’s, not do my hair or make up, I would honestly sometimes look in the mirror and think why would they want to be with me anyway look at me. I actually got to the point where I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, I just didn’t like myself at all. What I found was that when I started doing little things for ME I started feeling a little better. Run yourself a nice hot bubble bath (with extra bubbles) make yourself a hot drink and put on some music or your favourite show/film, one of my favourites is ‘The Holiday’, I also watch reruns of ‘Benidorm’ as no matter what it always makes me laugh and forget what I’m going through, sometimes I even get my Nintendo switch out and play Mario because for me that can be a good distraction and something to focus on. Get your face creams out and a nice face mask, your face will feel so lovely after, paint your nails your favourite colour too 🙂

When you next go food shopping get some of your favourite fruits, this will also help you get your taste buds going and your appetite back while also putting goodness into your body, keep hydrated, I sometimes forget this one but once your body starts to feel good so will you. We forget to take care of ourselves most of the time which can also have an impact on our energy levels, I have recently got into taking some multivitamins too. I absolutely love reading and it is one of the things that help me get through hard times, I could sit and read a good book for hours without even realising it, take your book to work with you, read it on your break, if you travel to/from work read it on your commute, and before bed (because that’s when our mind can be the worst) and it can also help you to sleep better.

When you start to love yourself again you will be reminded of your self worth. I have recently gone through a breakup and because of my past experiences I refused to let it define me, I refused to go down hill like I had in previous breakups. I actually for the first time in 12years went and had my hair coloured and restyled, I honestly felt like a new woman. I have got through 2 books, got myself some new creams too. I feel more confident in myself and have learnt to love myself more. My Family and friends had all noticed a massive shift and actually said how I have my spark back.

SPEND TIME WITH LOVED ONES

This one I have previously struggled to do as I would want to shut myself away from the world and not see or speak with anyone, but that honestly made me feel a million times worse.

Open up to your loved ones about what your going through, you don’t have to go through it alone, the biggest support you get will be from them. Meet up with your family or friends for lunch/dinner, plan a shopping trip, or have a friend or family member over for dinner. These people bring out the best in you, value you and just love you for who you are.

A few other things that have helped my healing stage are going for walks, I take my dog for a walk daily and getting some fresh air and walking in nature are very beneficial and it definitely calms your mind. Listening to podcasts or videos on YouTube about selfcare and how to love yourself more have also really helped me.

We all heal in our own way and at our own pace, we all have our own journey but as long as we turn the love we so freely give others inwards to our self we can begin our healing stage and get through it gracefully.

It is your journey but please don’t ever forget to love yourself, be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself.

Hugs

PinkPanther

xoxo